Would-be Roadkill

Driving in the outback is quite an experience, owing to the arid desert terrain and very little in the way of civilisation for many a country mile. The scenery in itself is something we hadn’t experienced before anywhere, such is its uniqueness. Whatever lives and survives in this environment needs to do so with little in the way of moisture for weeks on end. Surprisingly, it is usually the road which kills the animals, not the environment and, because the land is so vast, you don’t see many other than those dead at the side of the road.  For this reason, it is not a good idea to drive at night and is something you are advised against seeing that cattle, camels (see Road Train blog) and marsupials are likely to write off your car before you can say kangaroo poo, not to mention seriously endanger your life in the process. Since we didn’t leave Alice Springs until 3pm and the journey takes around four and a half hours, we knew we’d have to stop the night en route. But before we got to the only campsite outside of Ayers Rock Resort, however, we found ourselves driving in darkness listening to abo.fm with only the power of our headlights to guide us. We knew we were taking a risk so seeing a live dingo by the side of the road, oblivious to the danger he presented to himself and us, was an obvious and glaring reminder to be careful. A few kilometres further down the road, a second glance exposed a huge, living, barn door-sized slab of prime steak standing directly across our lane, staring us down with one eye-brow raised in contempt like Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. Now, I have no idea if the damned creature was asleep or not. Why else would any being wander into the road like that and stand there like they were invincible? In fact, while we’re on the subject, apparently it is possible to push over a cow while it snoozes given that they sleep on their feet. So perhaps if I’d have nudged him as I came to a stop, while squeezing the last pound of pressure from my brakes, he would have toppled. Who knows? It may be a myth, but I reason that since Beavis and Butthead did it in one of their many juvenile but hilarious episodes, it must be true. Anyway, luckily the cow was just outside the breaking distance for our speed, otherwise he would have been seriously tenderised or, more than likely, us. As soon as we stopped with nothing more than a metre or so to spare he looked at us nonchalantly and trotted off the road and into the darkness. I think if he could he would have flipped us the bird upon leaving. Pretty scary stuff, especially since the hire vehicle we had picked up only a few hours before was held by a 2000 pound insurance bond on my credit card and we were liable for any damage. Thankfully, we reached the campsite soon after this incident and to our knowledge we had no other occurrences to report on the way.