Asian food = Crap

Most of the Asian food we've encountered on the way has been great, and I will especially miss Thai curries. Some, though, is just crap.

Sunsets

While we were on Phuket in Thailand recently, we stayed on the beach and watched the sunset every evening for a week. We got some stunning views and we wanted to share them with you. I hope these pictures do justice to what we were treated to every night.

The Hitchikers

Travelling is all about first time experiences and given the nature of our trip, we’ve had more than we can speak of. Today we visited the Cameron Highlands in Malaysia and graced an epic tea plantation with our presence. The scenery was stunningly beautiful with vast rolling hills blanketed with tea trees. But this blog isn’t really about that so I will let you see the pictures when we post them, which I am sure will tell their own story.

Anyway, the plantation was around 10km away and obviously too far to walk and so the taxi we took cost us 15 Ringgits (about 4 pounds). On the way back, conscious of our budget, we decided on taking the advice of the Lonely Planet who said that some people hitchhike their way back. Well, far be it for us to disbelieve the good name of a guide book in which we have slowly lost more and more faith as time has passed. So we set out walking, warily offering out a thumb (don’t tell our parents, we will deny all knowledge) until we felt more comfortable in letting go of our conservative British nature. Cars, trucks, bikes and pickup trucks passed without a hint of sorrow at our toward our cause, despite the forlorn looks we aimed in their direction. Eventually, a battered old saloon car, the type of beige that went out in the 70s, pulled over in front of us, which we hoped wasn’t pulling over for a flat tyre. I went up to the window and, the driver, presumably finishing work on recognition of his tools in the back, pre-empted us in announcing our destination. Great, we said as we jumped in thanking him profusely in Malay. All efforts to strike up a conversation were in vain, however, as he did not speak a word of English, although I suspect his English was better than our Malay.

So, travelling along as passengers listening to his oriental style music made us feel more comfortable at hitchhiking for the first time and he seemed like a nice and honest fellow. It’s funny though how your mind can wander irrationally in certain situations. Two minutes into the journey, the central locking on all four doors locked simultaneously, reflexively forcing Helen and I to look at each other in alarm. But, in silence, we told each other through some form of telepathy that it was normal for a 40-year-old car to do this. As we travelled further toward our final destination, he made a phone call. Our minds started racing as we imagined him telling his co-conspirator, “I’ve got another two, start digging.” Trying to stay positive as we irrationally conceived our fate, we were asked in very broken English specifically where we wanted dropping off. I swear I saw a wry smirk as if he was playing with us while we visualised our fate. After the next 100 or so yards his indicator signalled a manoeuvre left into the bus station, which, you will be pleased to hear, is where we had asked him to drop us off. The central locking was released on all four doors in a synchronized fashion and we got out feeling ashamed that we had had any of those thoughts at all of a very nice man who had really helped us out. We even offered him a token amount of money for his inconvenience, which he quickly refused. I ended up giving him a shiny English 5 pence coin embossed with our noble Queen Elizabeth II that I found in the bottom of my bag as a souvenir. Or perhaps it was guilt.

Disclaimer: We accept no responsibility for those stupid enough to try this and in no event will we be liable for anybody who meets a grisly end arising from or in connection with hitchiking.

Our journey so far continued...Laos.

December 2010

30th – Arrival in Huay Xai, Laos. Able to see Thailand from balcony of hotel and almost hit it with a stone’s throw. Unspectacular place produced pretty spectacular sunset over Mekong.

31st – Start of epic 2-day slow-boat journey down the mighty Mekong splitting 2 countries. A pretty unexciting stopover in Pak Beng on New Years Eve showed little promise until we found a group of locals setting off lanterns and were able to join in (see previous blog).

January 2011

1st – Second day of slow boat journey down Mekong Delta to Luang Prabang. ‘Laos to the left of me, Thailand to my right, here I am, stuck in the middle with you’, sang Helen, bored with her companion. Plenty of things to see and so many different scenes from children playing in the river and adults washing clothes, to rock formations and beautiful scenery. A rather dull-sounding experience for two long days was anything but. The “pearl of the orient” and a UNESCO protected peninsula, we arrived in the beautiful riverside town of Luang Prabang. We hired bikes and toured the place, did as the locals do and had a DIY BBQ as we watched a stunning sunset, and generally soaked up the atmosphere for a few days.

4^th – Bus to Vang Vieng for no other reason than to partake in ‘tubing’, where it is supposedly fun to hire tractor  tyre inner tubes and float down the Vang Vieng river. Having got there so late in the day and wanting to leave the next morning, we had a few hours to do the course before we received a fine for the late return of our tubes at 6pm. The river was cold late in the day as the sun went down but nevertheless a fun experience and one that would have been even more awesome if we’d had more time.

5^th – Bus to Vientiane, capital of Laos, where we spent Helen’s birthday. Did the usual sights that capitals have to offer like monuments, temples and an unfinished mock Arc de Triomphe that was described something like a stone eye-sore. We also splashed out on a nice room, meal and cake for Helen’s birthday.

8^th – Flight to Pakse and bus to Si Phan Don. Island time river style. This was a place to just lay back and soak up the atmosphere. Hired bikes and explored the islands, avoiding chickens, Buffalo and cows, and went on boat trip to see the rare Irrawaddy dolphins, of which we saw several, although the photographic evidence is unlikely to make the cut for the next series of Planet Earth.

11^th – Bus back to Pakse and border crossing back into Thailand for overnight stopover in Ubon Ratchathani before flying back to Bangkok for another flight, bus and boat journey to the islands in the south. Traditional dancers personally greeted us on arrival at Ubon airport to send us off. At least that’s what we convinced ourselves. Highly unlikely that they were actually there for the arrival of very important Chinese businessmen. No, of course not.

Our journey so far continued...Central & North Thailand.

December 2010

17th – Arrival in Bangkok.  Stayed near notorious Khao San Rd. Not everyone’s cup of tea and certainly not ours, but not as bad as anticipated. Did the usual tourist sights like the Grand Palace, Reclining Buddha and Chatuchak market, one of the world’s largest. Met up with one of Helen’s old school friends, a Bangkok native who showed us around and took us to restaurant to feast on selection of authentic Thai food. Went to an infamous PingPong show in renowned Patpong district where Nick was able to practice his table-tennis as a woman fired unsavoury pingpong balls at him out of her you know what.

21st – Train to Ayuthaya, original capital of Thailand. Temple Time again at Unesco World Heritage site. Hired bikes and toured man-made island. Visited forgettable night market in evening for food.

23rd – Bus to Sukhothai at place of first settlement inThailand. Another Unesco World Heritage sight meaning ‘rising happiness’, we hired bikes again and toured more temples in mad afternoon dash in order to leave the next day and avoid travelling on Christmas Day.

24^th – Bus to Chiang Mai where we spent Christmas. Found a happy-clappy Christian church and attended Midnight Mass. Sadly, no family Christmas dinners on offer so went for next best…Italian! Visited local hill tribes. Helen did Thai cookery course while Nick had his friend take him to butchers, sorry, barbers to have buzz cut. Rented bicycles to tour old city and spent a day feeding, riding and washing elephants at an elephant park. All in a day’s work then.

30^th – Bus to Chiang Rai to change bus for onward journey to border crossing at Chiang Khong for 2 minute boat journey into Huay Xai, Laos where we could see Laos 200 metres away.

What is in a name?

Just recently I picked up an old and battered copy of Marilyn Manson’s autobiography that I am yet to decide if it is giving me nightmares or an enlightened and alternative view of society. Anyway, in one part he writes how he met a girl with “a pretentious name like Asia.” And it is true. Despite that Asia sounds like a nice name, it is undoubtedly pretentious.

But then there are those who are on another planet altogether. Take Jamie Oliver, for instance. He has 4 kids, all ridiculously named Buddy Bear, Poppy Honey, Daisy Boo, and Petal Blossom. Geri Halliwell has a daughter called Bluebell Madonna, and Frank Lampard a daughter named Luna Coco Patricia. And lets not forget Paula Yates, who called one daughter Fifi Trixibelle and another Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. God forbid calling your children something normal like Tom or Sarah. Pretentious is an understatement. It is child cruelty by those not content with bringing into today’s harsh world children with conventional names who will already have a hard enough time finding their way in life. Lets all hand our kids a free ticket to a life of bullying and future therapy. I want to ask all those parents, by giving your child an oddball name, is it a statement of individuality or an unwitting self-diagnosis?

Either way I have decided that, if I have a little girl, I will call her Southeast Asia. That will take the pretentiousness out of it.

Krating Daeng aka Red Bull

When we met up with Om in Bangkok, Helen’s Thai friend with whom she used to be friends at school in England, he spent the evening showing us around Bangkok. Of course we plied him with questions of curiosity about Bangkok and Thailand in general and somehow, the subject of Red Bull came up. Apparently, as Om told us – and I have since read more about it on Wikipedia to confirm the credibility of what we were being told – truck drivers used to drink Red Bull to help them stay awake during the long, late-night drive. Sales of the energy drink soared across Asia during the 1970s and 1980s, and its working class image was confounded further by sponsorship of Thai boxing matches, where the logo of two red bulls charging each other was often on display. But back then it was not the same Red Bull we have come to know today.

The Red Bull we know today in Europe was created in 1987 by the Austrian entrepreneur Dietrich Mateschitz, who was inspired by an already existing energy drink called Krating Daeng, meaning ‘Thai Red Bull’, which he discovered in Thailand. He took this idea, modified the formula and founded Austrian Red Bull GmbH in partnership with Chaleo Yoovidhya who invented the original Krating Daeng. In 2008, Forbes magazine listed both Chaleo and Mateschitz as being the 260th richest persons in the world with an estimated net worth of $4.0 billion. In Thailand today, it is still known as Krating Daeng, but there are a few subtle differences.  Whereas Red Bull is carbonated, comes in a 250ml can and costs roughly a pound, its ancestor is still sold in 150ml brown bottles, is non-carbonated and is much sweeter. It also costs the equivalent of about 25pence.

 

The first thing that occurred to me after being told of Krating Daeng’s origins as a tool used by long-haul truck drivers to stay awake, is just how influential the power of marketing really is. Arguably, if it wasn’t for Dietrich Mateschitz who transformed Thai Red Bull into what we know today as simply Red Bull, it might still be used solely by truck drivers and those who earn a living through physical labour. Today Red Bull enjoys a favourable image within the sports world. It is now the most popular energy drink in the world by market share, which can without doubt be attributed to aggressive and clever marketing through advertising, tournament and event sponsorship, sports team ownerships and celebrity endorsements. In addition, as hard as it is to comprehend, it even has its own record label, Red Bull Records.